Getting Through the Silly Season With an Eating Disorder
This time of year always seems to bring a level of anxiety and stress for everyone. There is a manic energy in the air brought on by society’s expectation to get everything ready and wrapped up by the 25th December, all whilst juggling a massive load on minimal energy. Naturally, we are running on reserves and are seeking some respite by this point.
Now add, a very loud intrusive voice in your head that makes it even harder to function and meet these demands; the eating disorder (ED) voice.
Everyone’s ED voice is different and will have its own script which plays on repeat. However we can all relate to the extra stress, work load, busy social calendar and family expectations which arise at this time of year, and it is not uncommon to feel overwhelmed, and uncertain about how to navigate all this.
It’s extra scary and debilitating doing this whilst trying to live with an eating disorder, and/or disordered eating. But you are truly not alone, and there are a few things you could try to help get you through.
But actually, you are not alone
As much as your eating disorder likes to make you think you are, and does a very good job at isolating you from your closest people, it might be helpful to remind yourself that there are so many people struggling at this time with similar challenges. In fact, there are approximately 1.1 million Australians living with an eating disorder according to a report by Deloitte in partnership with the Butterfly Foundation (2024).
Gently reminding yourself that others are going through similar struggles may ease the emotional burden and remind you that others are navigating this challenging time too.
Readjust your expectations
You may not thrive during this time of year, it could actually feel like the hardest few weeks of the entire year and that is okay. Social media makes it seem like this glorious festive time and the reality is that it’s not for so many people.
Reconsider what you have capacity for at this time. It might be about letting go of the “shoulds” and just ‘surviving’ and focusing on what you are able to do.
Reduce social media use
Social media will forever be a part of our lives and it’s not something that we can just stop using. If you’ve ever tried to disconnect or put a social media ban on yourself, I imagine the outcome was further shame, anxiety and disappointment when you returned to your regular usage. So it’s not about making strict rules, my goodness there are plenty the eating disorder has already put in place unfortunately. However, research has shown that there is a link between social media use and body image disturbance (Saiphoo & Vahedi, 2019).
Make an effort to limit your use, and if you find yourself mindlessly going to pick up your phone, perhaps ask yourself, ‘what else could I be doing at this moment?’.
Choose an ally
Struggling with an eating disorder is often done in silence and is easily overlooked by others. During this time of year, it's a good idea to choose a friend or family member who you trust, knows you well, and understands your eating disorder, to be your ally/support person.
In the lead up to the events, you could discuss what you need from them, how they can help you stay on track, get through a meal, and could even come up with a secret code to communicate with each other when things get dicey at the table. Your ally can help you and support you in any way that feels good for you and keeps you safe.
Have a food plan
Food is everywhere during the Christmas period and it will be something you will be forced to face, and often in situations that feel out of your comfort zone. Additionally, there is likely to be a variety of foods which will challenge the ED rules and not fall into the category of ‘safe foods’. Not knowing what will be served can cause extreme anxiety.
In order to help feel a bit more in control at a time when so many things don’t feel in our control, you could find out what will be served at your event; e.g. ask a family member to share the menu with you. This information can help you prepare and plan for the meal ahead.
Take breaks
There will be many situations which are likely to trigger your eating disorder. A family function, communal meals, conversations with ‘that family member’ who always seems to say something inappropriate, work parties, social gatherings etc., the list goes on. If you are already anticipating these events to be triggering and challenging for you, there is nothing wrong with taking breaks.
Usually these are busy occasions, so no one will notice if you excuse yourself to take a breather in the bathroom or go outside for some fresh air. This is your opportunity to practice slow breathing, mindfulness or even splash water on your face. All of these techniques will allow your nervous system to slow down; helping you feel more relaxed and regulated.
Be your own cheerleader
Affirmations are not for everyone, however there is no harm in finding one and giving it a go! It’s a reminder of your personal strength and it functions as a nurturing voice to counter the ED one. A strong personal affirmation can be used in those moments that feel really hard, and can help get you through to the next moment.
Some suggestions: “I trust myself and my body”, “You can do hard things”, “Christmas is one day, I can get through this”, “I have permission to fuel my body”, “I am stronger than my eating disorder”, “You are loved”, “I deserve to feel happy”.
These are suggestions and ideas to help you through this challenging time of year, whilst navigating the complexities of an eating disorder. If you are seeking professional help, there are services available as well. Take care and be kind to yourself.
Anyone needing support with eating disorders or body image issues is encouraged to contact:
Butterfly National Helpline on 1800 33 4673 (1800 ED HOPE) or support@butterfly.org.au
Eating Disorders Victoria Helpline on 1300 550 23
For urgent support call Lifeline 13 11 14
References
Butterfly Foundation (2024). New Report Reveals Alarming Growth in Both Prevalence and Cost of Eating Disorders. Butterfly Foundation. https://butterfly.org.au/news/new-report-reveals-alarming-growth-in-both-prevalence-and-cost-of-eating-disorders/
Saiphoo, A. N., & Vahedi, Z. (2019). A meta-analytic review of the relationship between social media use and body image disturbance. Computers in Human Behavior, 101, 259–275. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2019.07.028
